"Fool for Love" Spaiku, Part 5: Fascination

[mere_ubu]

This is my next-to-last batch of William haiku. Scout's honor! (Okay, I was never actually a Girl Scout, but "Brownie dropout's honor" just doesn't have the same ring to it.) In this installment, William first looks upon the face of his salvation. BtVS, S5. G. (Previous parts here.)
--


I.
Burning baby fish?
Wariness surrenders to
curiosity.


II.
If cats were angels,
they might look and talk like this
ethereal girl.


III.
Uncanny knowledge
of his innermost yearnings
confounds and enthralls.


IV.
Childlike beauty’s gaze
bores through drab woolen armor,
bares the poet’s heart.


V.
Pale eyes mesmerize,
comprehend his entirety . . .
beckon him homeward.

Comments

Yay! More spaiku! ;-p

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Before I clicked through, I thought, "Burning baby fish" and did that swimming motion Dru does (thank goodness I have my own office ;-p)!

I so totally love that scene in FFL! My daughter hates it when I quote those Dru lines but I love William and Dru's interplay; his naievty and desire for something, anything else, other than his heartbreak and her visions. **sigh**

Re: Yay! More spaiku! ;-p

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Hahaa! That cracks me up--I love the "burning baby fish" swimmy thing!

Me too. I mean, you can't hardly blame him for taking her up on the offer; it's probably the first time in his life that someone's bothered to really even look at him.

Thanks for reading and "Yay"ing. :D

[herself_nyc]

These are perfect!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked them. :D

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that second one is perfection. You've given me a chill up my spine. Wonderfully done!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie! That was the first one I wrote, and I wasn't sure if it would make sense outside my own head. I'm glad to hear that it worked for you!

More William? Yes!!!

[philips.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered what baby fish are called. Fry supposedly. And burning baby fry does sound so very wrong. Go Dru!

Childlike beauty’s gaze
bores through drab woolen armor,
bares the poet’s heart.

Beautiful. Exactly that.

Pale eyes mesmerize,
comprehend his entirety . . .
beckon him homeward.

Got the underlying emotion perfect here. *applauds*

Re: More William? Yes!!!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Hee! I wonder what the hell she thinks it is that she's seeing? That Drusilla's one complicated chick.

Thank you so much. The fact that you like them and that they gave me a much-needed something soothing to do while hiding in the garret on vacation makes this a win-win for me. :D

[jamalov29.livejournal.com]

They are beautiful and all call up for strong visuals. The second one has a quiet beauty . In the third I felt sharply his longing and his anguish..the fourth captures something so vivid it's chilling ! I've received the last one with a feeling of unbearable poignancy.
So heart-breaking , like William himself.

Thank you for this, dear. It's so very lovely to end the day with your poetry.:)

*squee*

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading, darling! I'm delighted that you enjoyed these, and your kind feedback just made my day. :D

[louise39.livejournal.com]

If cats were angels,
they might look and talk like this
ethereal girl.

This captures Dru exactly-the ethereal look with claws.

Spike yearning makes him wretched and willing.
Well done.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Louise! I'm so pleased that you liked that one--it just kind of popped into my head and I wasn't sure if it made sense to anyone but me. I'm glad it did!

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Wonderful. Just wonderful. "Drab woolen armor", "if cats were angels" - love, love,love your style! :)

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Aw, thank you so much. I love, love, love that these pleased you! :D

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

If cats were angels,
they might look and talk like this
ethereal girl.


Yes! A great description of Dru.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Cats would talk about visions of burning baby fish if they could, don't you think? ;)

[gillo]

I love the "drab woolen armor," image - sums up poor William beautifully.

Nice work, love. (Not exactly a surprise, though - I love your Spaiku.)

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear! I love your feedback. *eats it up with a spoon* I'm delighted that you liked these. :D

[c-woodhaven.livejournal.com]

I think this one sums up Spike and Dru's whole relationship.

Uncanny knowledge
of his innermost yearnings
confounds and enthralls.

As usual, these were spot on and magnificent.

*hugs*
~calypso

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you, sweetie! *hugs* I'm so glad that you liked these. D

I guess that what draws William to her in the first place keeps him there--the allure of someone who actually sees him . . .

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

I love them all-- Yeah! for more spaiku! But I have to say that #4 really moves me. "Drab woolen armor" indeed.

I'm always amazed at how much emotion you can capture in just a few syllables.

::admires::

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

::blushes::

Aw, thank you very much. I love your comments! I got #2 in about fifteen seconds but wrestled with #4 for days. Weird little word puzzles! I'm glad that it worked for you.

Good to hear from you, darlin.

[next_to_normal]

Yay! Glad of the friendiness, as I just noticed you'd started f-locking when I tried to follow a link here.

That "if cats were angels" bit is such an interesting comparison. I don't think I ever would've thought of it that way, but it's very fitting for Dru.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

*sheepish* Well, it was public when I first posted it, and when I went in to edit and change a single word, it defaulted back to friends only. Oops! But now I've at least snared a new friend. *cue diabolical laughter*

Thank you! That one came to me out of the blue, and I was honestly not sure that it would make sense outside my own head. I'm glad it fits for you.

P.S. I wanted to tell you that I started reading "Closure" while I was on vacation last week, and I'm hooked. I was stealing little bits of computer time and didn't get a chance to f/b, but I will next time a chapter goes up. I'm in terrible suspense!

[next_to_normal]

I hate when LJ gets a mind of its own and changes things! But you have indeed snared a new friend, you sneaky wench. :)

Glad you're enjoying Closure! I just updated again last night, for which you can thank my pesky, impatient f-list. :)

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Eeee! Hooray for the faster updateyness. I thank both you and the pesky f-list. :D When all of this sugar wears off, I'm gonna' come right over and read it!

[hello-spikey.livejournal.com]

aaaaw... *loves*

Dru is a poet's dream, isn't she? Inscrutable and lovely!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

*nods* She really is. I got sidetracked while I was working on these and ended up with quite a few that were just about sight and her eyes. She's a dreamy, sinister girl, that Dru.

random commenter

[rowanda380.livejournal.com]

fabulous, you really are a wonderful poet!

Re: random commenter

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you so much! Writing the Spaiku is all that I know. I'm glad that you're still enjoying these. :)

Re: random commenter

[rowanda380.livejournal.com]

well, I think you just choose the most interesting moments to disect...and your language...I feel like the poem could have been written by Spike himself! But even better :0)

Re: random commenter

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks! I can't imagine a better compliment. I always have a blast writing them and I'm happy to have people who actually want to read them!

[riccadonna.livejournal.com]

They're always good, but the second one is astounding.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I was hoping to capture Dru's strangeness to William without making her seem offputting. I'm so glad you liked it!