"Fool for Love" Spaiku, Part 8: Fabrication

[mere_ubu]

Bless me, LJ, for I have sinned. It has been thirty-six days since my last Spaiku post. Grant me absolution, and I will vow to post a weekly batch henceforth. Onward! Another interlude wherein Spike and Buffy Bicker at the Bronze--this time about vampirism as a profound existential experience--before the continuation of Spike's completely truthful reminiscences to her about the good old days. ;)   BtVS, S5, G. Previous parts here. Thanks to the mister for having Beta Lunch with me.
--
I.
Mutters, affronted—
traded up on the food chain!
Girl has no idea.


II.
Trade a faded life
for radiant living death?
No contest, Summers.


III.
It’s transmutation:
a revamping, if you will.
S’not about diet.


IV.
Smokes, chalks a cue with
infuriating smugness;
eyeballs his next shot.


V.
Persona in place,
picks up the thread of his tale . . .
embroiders the past.

Comments

[c-woodhaven.livejournal.com]

I just sat down to write and found this gem!

Woo Hoo!!!! More Spaiku! That rocks!

a revamping, if you will

Brilliant!!!

Have a lovely Friday and a wonderful weekend!
*hugs*
~calypso

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad that you liked these, and earning a "Woo Hoo" makes my day. :D

Hope you're having a great weekend, sweetie!

[riccadonna.livejournal.com]

The third! The third!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you. I wasn't sure if I could get away with "revamping," but I'm glad that it seems to have worked. :)

[next_to_normal]

Yay! More Spaiku! You know, I got so wrapped up in the William/Dru stuff that I kind of forgot you were doing the whole episode, lol.

"traded up on the food chain!" - it's nice when the lines happen to have the right syllables, isn't it? :)

I think #2 and #5 are my favorites.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. *whispers* Y'know what? I kind of forgot, too! I finished that last William batch, re-watched FFL, and choked when I realized that I still had about three-quarters of the episode left to go. I'm ready to wrassle it again, though.

I love it when lines fit! :D

[rahirah]

I love that last one especially!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! :D

[jamalov29.livejournal.com]

Mere's spaiku ! :))*dances*

It's beautifully drawn- my favourite are 4 and 5. I think I've seen that fabulous scene in the Bronze so many times that I've lost count.;-)
Smokes, chalks a cue with
infuriating smugness;
eyeballs his next shot. Oh the smugness how I loved it !
Perfect visual

Have a nice evening, sweetie. Are you wearing TEH birthday shirt ? :D

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Hee! *dances with you* Thank you, sweetie! I'm so pleased that you liked these. It's such a short scene, but there's a lot going on in it.

Hope you're having a lovely Saturday. And yep, I'm wearing The Shirt. ;)

[missmurchison.livejournal.com]

Yay! Spaiku!

I am in love with the last two.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I am in love with the fact that you found them "yay"-worthy! I've been getting so weirdly detailed with these that I've taken to joking that, sooner or later, I'd end up writing one just about Spike chalking a pool cue. And here it is!

[gillo]

Persona in place,

Perfect line! You "get" our boy so beautifully every time.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I really couldn't ask for a better compliment than that, and I'm delighted that you think so. :D

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

It's so hard to choose; good thing I don't have to! Faded/radiant, thread/embroider, no idea/no contest/not diet. All so balanced and well said. *sniff*

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you for the lovely feedback! I'm so glad that you enjoyed them. *sniff* Dangit, don't get me started again, woman. I'm a frail flower! ;)

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

Trade a faded life
for radiant living death?

Yes, such a Spike notion because he's just so ashamed of being William.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

*nods* As much as I privately complain about Spike's portrayal in AtS, I'm so in love his poetry slam moment in NFA when he embraces the William within. What a lovely last private moment for his character.

Thank you for reading, dear!

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Yay for more Spaiku!
radiant living death - perfect description of Spike.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Yay for your feedback! Thank you, sweetie. I'm glad that you liked these! :D

[missus-grace.livejournal.com]

AWESOME! He was pretty snarky in that episode-trying to convey to Buffy what she was up against, tempering that with his feelings for her.

Great job!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

*nods* I think he's really offended that she doesn't respect what a transformation he underwent when he was vamped. *pets him* Dude, that's no way to impress a Slayer.

Thanks for your awesome feedback, sweetie!

[louise39.livejournal.com]

Another FFL Spaiku set - excellent!

It’s transmutation: S’not about diet.
and he embroiders the past.

Gets better and better.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you think so.

Hope you're having a lovely Saturday. :D

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

**squee** More spaiku!

This is one of your better sets! They're all spot on, especially II, and especially compared with your last group! It's such a juxtaposition. We see William and we see what Drusilla and Angel and his own determination made of his new circumstances.

I also like V. Spike is definitely a persona that he wears mostly as a second skin these days but we see past it at various points to his inner Victorian gentleman poet. I also like the thread and embroidery imagery!

Very nicely done!

*squee*

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you so much! I have to admit that I was a little cowed at the scope of the project when I finished with William and realized that I still had a whole lot of episode left to go. (Before this, I've just written whatever ep happened to pop into my head and ask to be haiku'd, but sitting down and making myself go through one scene by scene is much more of a challenge.) I'm really glad to hear that these worked for you. That slippage between Spike and William makes him so much fun to ponder.

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

Oooh. These are all great (as usual!) but number 5 really moves me. Nice.

ETA cause I can't type!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm glad to be back in business. :D

[lynnenne]

These make a marvelous quintent. I think the final one is my favorite. Kudos!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading and for the lovely feedback! I felt a little sheepish about having so many for such a short scene, but I guess that Spike's just a complex dude. ;)

[herself_nyc]

Very very nice. I like III particularly.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you very very much! I didn't know if I could get away with "revamping," but I'm wholly incapable of avoiding a pun once it's presented itself.

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Very nice! You're forgiven. ;)

Whew!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you--I'm very relieved to hear it! :D

[silverusagi]

Trade a faded life
for radiant living death?

I love these lines!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I was waffling between "radiant living death" and "a vivid living death" for a while there. I'm going to use your feedback as validation for my choice. :)

yipppee!

[philips.livejournal.com]

my comment has gone poof! If it shows up double, just consider it as twice the love. The thread of his tale and embroiders his past is sublime. Sublime spaiku truffle. I missed these so.

Can't wait for the Mine Shaft though. ;)

yippie ki-ay

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Can't wait for the Mine Shaft though.

I'll just bet. Pervert! ;)

Thank you for your encouragement, sweetheart. It balked for a couple of weeks there, but I'm back on the haiku horse.

[powerofthebook.livejournal.com]

Love them all, but the second one is the most vivid and telling. Stupendous!

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I initially thought that these were just going to be about Buffy being irritated with him but then I decided it was about something else entirely. So glad you enjoyed them!

[diachrony.livejournal.com]

I love these! They're soooo good, so descriptive.

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the kind feedback, sweetie. I'm happy that you liked them! I got out of the haiku habit during the busy-ness last month, and I think that all the haiku-related birthday wishes helped nudge me back onto the rails. ;)

[clawofcat.livejournal.com]

Eep! I totally missed these the other day. As someone who writes short fiction, I know how hard it is to condense story and characterization into so few words. You, my dear, take it to a whole new level!

Trade a faded life
for radiant living death?
I mean, look at this. This captures William/Spike's vision of his past and present so succinctly, not to mention in beautiful, poetic prose. You've taken your very own genre and made it into this popular and powerful art form.

Also, #3 & 4 are so darn clever. Your sense of humor (and Spike's) always shine through in these. Crazy that only 11 words can bring up such a vivd picture. *hats off to you*

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you so much! I'm blushing here. When I first started writing the Spaiku, they would just sort of "show up" all ready to go and I'd giggle and post them; I'm finding that tackling a whole episode and writing each scene is a completely different thing. (I probably throw away about four or five haiku for every one I keep now.) I wasn't feeling particularly inspired to do this tiny scene at all, but once I started poking around at it, I was surprised and happy to find that there was more there than I initially thought. I'm so glad to hear that these worked for you!

[shapinglight]

That was great. I have to catch up on all of these. Do you have them tagged?

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm delighted that you enjoyed them enough to want to read more. :D

All of the FFL ones are here, and every haiku ever posted is under the "spaiku" tag. Some day I need to go in an organize them by season, episode, etc., but for now they're just in the order I originally posted them. I confess that tidiness is not really my forte.

[jnharrow.livejournal.com]

Love your Spaiku. :)

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you. I love your feedback! :D

[hello-spikey.livejournal.com]

as always, lovely! You really capture so much in so few words. I love "a revamping, if you will./ S'not about diet." Because - wow. Little of a slant pun, whole lot of attitude captured, and that wonderful banality of the fantastic that is a cornerstone of the genre. :)

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm really pleased to hear that it worked for you; I wasn't at all sure about what I was going to pull out of that scene when I first sat down to tackle it. And may I say how much I love the phrase "wonderful banality of the fantastic?" You totally made a little haiku there:


Genre cornerstone:
wonderful banality
of the fantastic.

Thank you for your poetic feedback! :D